Always Expect The Unexpected

This title - Always Expect The Unexpected - has really reminded me of my very very long time philosophy, which I have nearly forgotten. Always expect the unexpected to be happened in life.

Yes, if all of us manage to live life without any expectations, then everyday is a happy day. I have really forgotten about my this philosophy. Last night, after my Toastmasters Meeting, once I got on to my car, I can't wait to hear my darling's voice. Called him while driving. He sounded so excited on the phone by asking me where was I. I told him I just started my journey back home from my Club and it will take a while.

With this small question from my dearest hubby, I EXPECT him expecting my arrival at home. I was so happy and wish to reach home faster. After I turned into the Guard House, I drove slowly and kept my eyes around, trying to capture the body shape or face that I was eagerly wish to see. Looking around, eyeing around by driving damn slowly, not next to the Guard House, not next to any cars in the covered car park, hmmmmm............ until I reached my car park lot, still I didn't see anyone around. Ok, then I told myself, he might be slow a bit as I told him I won't be arriving so fast................... so, I quickly get down of my car and walked towards the lift. The street seems very dark and quiet as usual, which I hate this kind of feeling. Too quiet, too scary to me as I seldom or I avoid to reach home after the sky gets dark as I hate to walk alone to the lift.

As I was walking towards the letterbox area, I still didn't see him. Then I think, he might be hiding somewhere and try to scared me and play with me, I kept walking and turn around to see my left and right, front and back. Ok, very sure, there is no one around. Ok, my last expectation is he might afraid that he might missed me, then he is waiting for me at the lift.

Nope, no one around again. Another disappointment ! Okay, I told myself again, he might think that I might be late coz it's quite a distance from my Club back home. Lift is coming down from 13th Floor, 10th floor, 8th floor, my another expectation is telling me to EXPECT the lift might stop at 3rd floor and I might be able to see my hubby's face once the lift opens. Oh oh ! Nope again, another disappointment !!!! The lift opens and no one was inside the lift.

OK, then I wish I could reach home safely coz it's really late at night already. The lift door closed and oh oh, I hate this, I hate to see this, the lift stops at 1st floor, the door opens and the thing that I hate happened, a man, an Indonesian thin man walking towards the lift and he stood next to me, hate to have this kind of feeling, alone in the lift, with an Indonesian guy. I told myself, not to be scared, as two more floors, I will be reaching my home. The lift door closed, oppppsss.......... nope, how come the guy didn't pressed the floor number that he wish to go, hmmmm.......... suddenly, the news in newspaper came into my mind, nope, nope, don't think of all the bad things, nope nope nope ................... before the lift door fully closed, I have hope. Someone outside was trying to come in, I was so happy that someone could be with me in the lift......... I quickly press the ' open ' button and see who was there outside. Firstly, I saw a man's shirt, oh no, don't tell me that there is another Indonesian guy coming in .............. nope nope nope..................... please, don't .............................. huh !!!! After a second of negative thinking, I saw a familiar face, it's Jacky, the Nasi Lemak shop owner. I was so glad that he accompanied me in the lift and escort me home. Thanks, Jacky !

But still, the Indonesian guy still didn't press the floor that he wants to go................ then my feeling tells me again that he might be the neighbour who stays opposite our house, those Indonesian family. The lift door opens, I walked out and he also followed me walked out, I walked towards my house direction, he also walked towards the same direction, I kept turning my head behind to see if he is taking a key, if yes, that means he is staying here, otherwise......................... luckily, yes, he is our neighbour next door. Huh ! So relief ! I was so relief and I quickly open my house door and went into my house.

I then only saw my lovely hubby coming towards the door to welcome me. Huh ! But suddenly, due to all the ' pressure ' or ' stress ' in the lift, my emotion again lost control and I complaint or scolded my hubby for not coming down to fetch me. His face turns black immediately........... and went into the room without saying anything............... I also don't know since when he becomes so narrow hearted and gets angry easily........................

Then, I spotted that two persons were in the house, no one cares at all what is happening in the house. The shirt racks that I pulled into the living hall in the morning before I stepped out to work, were there remained. No one cares to even open the glass door and let some fresh air coming into the living hall, no one cares to bother to pull the shirt rack to the balcony, it is just like it's okay, no problem............................... remained everything and just pretend didn't see.

I walked into my room, the curtain has never been opened, again, no one cares.................. immediately, my temper comes and can't control my face muscle and it just go down and long, my face turns black again. As I was having fever since I was in the club meeting and kept on coughing and have running nose, I quickly get myself settled down by washing my face, bath and so on. My hubby didn't even ask a word and just lying down on the bed, I know he is angry with me.

But I know he is still trying his best to figure out what has happening to me and why my face was long and black, he tried to tackle me by saying : " Dear, can you please come over and let me hug you ? " Wow ! I was waiting for this statement everyday, how nice if everyday my hubby have such request. How much I grave or how much I wish to hear this everyday - again, another EXPECTATION ...................... but sorry, my dear, you requested it at the wrong timing, my running nose was so serious at that time, I can't even control my running nose as the water keeps coming out from my nose, and I am in fever. The only thing that I wish to do now is to wash my face, shower and then take medicine. OK, I know, you got angry with me again for not attending to your request and just told you to wait for a while. But I really can't tahan with my uneasiness and my sickness, dear !

Then you start mumbling yourself, again, turn your body to the other side and sleep. I really can't tahan this kind of action, this kind of reaction to me, come on lah, be a bit understanding, be a bit caring, be a bit detailed and asked at least : " What happen, dear. Not feeling well ? " Nope, nothing from you at all, except another long black face turning your body towards the other side of the bed and sleep.

You saw me eating medicine and without asking any question. My anger was boiling and I can't tahan. OK, finally, after I quickly get myself ready and go to bed and try to get myself cool down and talk to you, as I know, I was wrong at the first point as I shouldn't show you my temper once I stepped into the house. So, I am ready to say sorry to you.

I look at your backside, you didn't move, I called you once " Lao Kong ", no response. I waited for a while, " huuuu.................. huuuu.................. " the snooring sounds is the only voices in the room. I know you don't care and what can I do, it's all my own EXPECTATION, I shouldn't have such EXPECTATION by EXPECTING you to ask me : " Dear, how's your meeting ? " " What gets you so angry ? Anything happen ? Mind to share with me ? " " Who bully you, tell me and I will settled for you ? " " Why you eat medicine ? Not feeling well ? Wanna me to bring you to see doctor ? "

No, nothing from you at all, except the snooring sound. I know, I shouldn't have such EXPECTATION.

That's why I told you this morning that it's my very own problem, I need to settle it myself, I need to learn how to control my emotion in order not to make you angry.....................

But I asked myself another question : " If the only man in my life don't care about me or if I can't EXPECT the man who sleeps next to me on all these small little things, who else can I EXPECT ???? or who else shall I share all my happiness and sadness to ?????????????

I EXPECT you know the only person in this world who could affect my emotion is ONLY YOU ! I EXPECT you know there is nothing happen in this world could make my temper changes, except YOU !!!! Still remember, whatever happen in my office or Toastmasters or my family, I will share with you, on good or bad thing, I have never throw my temper at you for all these things, except YOU could juggle my emotion .................. dear, you might not realised yet how important you are to me...............................................


Zero Expectation Is Always The BEST !!!!!

Since Long I Didn't Write My Blog ....................

Hey, all my Blog friends ! How's everybody ? ( It seems like I have a lot of Blog fans .............. hahhahhaah.............. in fact, only myself............... even my hubby also didn't log on to my Blog to read )

Really a lot of things happen recently in life. My last update on the Blog was far behind on 3rd August 2007 where I am still a girl and now, I am writing at an identity of Mrs Wong. Yes ! Within this half year, from August 2007 till May 2008, I have made a very big decision for my life - to marry a man !!!

Hhahhahaa............. as such, I am now no longer " Miss " or ' Girl ', I am a woman ( real woman ) whom carrying someone's surname in front of mine. Or in Chinese, I am now been called as " Ah Soh " or " Aunty " loh......................

Life has changed tremendously after married. For example :

1. Shopping still on, just that visit different stalls. Previously, I went shopping at Mid Valley for shirts, blouses, pants, skirts and etc; now I go Tesco or Giant or Carrefour to compare prices on vegetables, canned food, garlic, milk, Milo and etc.

2. Lunch time : Previously during lunch time I always think of a new place / restaurant to bring my colleagues over for new food or new exploration but now, lunch hour, I have no time to even eat but to buy grocery things or to prepare for my dinner by going to MyDin or Giant to do shopping.

3. Previously, during weekends, I sleep till late and do nothing / go shopping / go for good food / movie, but now Saturday and Sunday is my busy day on house work, cleaning, washing, sweeping, cooking, ironing, mopping and etc.

Not only the above, there are real a lot of difference between a single life and a married life. How to get used to another family's culture ? How to be a good wife and daughter-in-law ? How to be tolerance and compromised between each other ? How to control my emotion towards unhappy things happened in life and so forth.

Have been married and staying at a new house, I still remember, for the first night in the new house, I cried like hell, so sad, so pityful and so unhappy. Just for a simple reason : I missed my parents, I missed my brother, I have home sick ! Coz I didn't feel the same love in the new house. Things changed too fast until I can't cope and get used to it.

A lot of tears have been flowing through my face recently - all over some small minor issues in life............. I got to really learn how to be tolerance, compromise and be happy towards my new life.

Time to go home to cook now, got to keep my blowing feeling for next time.

Cheers ! Hope all my family members and friends are happy !!!