Dear, don't know since when, we both are speechless............................... we can't talk to each other anymore, once we start a conversation, we sure get involved with fights and quarrels at the end. What's wrong actually ? I really want to find out why. I really eagerly wanted to know what has go wrong with both of us.
Everytime, when I am in the office, I missed you so much and have a lot of things wanted to talk to you, but when I am homed, I see you with your long unhappy face, I have nothing to say already. Or else, after I made one statement, like my whole body was so pain, then you replied with " It's okay, go and take bath, it will go well. ". For these kind of answers, I really felt so scared and worried that how shall I formed my sentence and talked to you.
Like just now, you called me and I was so happy to answer your call and we talk happily at the beginning, but suddenly, the chemical becomes wrong suddenly and the ' war smell ' getting serious and serious, and again, we ended up with an unhappy ending of conversation again. I don't hope to have such feeling towards you, dear ! How I missed our previous time, those happy time where we can really talk anything that we like, without any hassle, without any quarrel. I really missed that !
Like Wednesday night, I eagerly waiting you to be homed and would like you to take me to pasar malam to buy fruits, we were so happy all the while until you saw the old newspapers that I took out, your face started getting black and long face, and the ' jek, jek, jek ' sound comes out already. I really HATE the ' jek, jek, jek ' sounds. Why you want to do that to me ? What's so worng with me to take those old newspapers to throw ? The old newspapers have been disturbing me from my cooking and even for me to place something on top of it, because it's too many and too high, I can't even place those woks that I washed for drying purpose. What's so wrong with it for taking it down to throw before we go for dinner ? It's really distracting. I don't know, because of this very small thing, just that 1 second, our whole night screwed up !!!! I ate my dinner with tears in my eyes and pain in my heart. I can't slept for two continous nights already. The first night, you slept in the living hall, when I asked you to come in to the room to sleep, you " jek, jek, jek " again, I really hate that ! And the worst thing, after you ' jek, jek, jek ', you went out from the room and slept in the couch. I slept alone in the bed with tears that night .................. At 3.50am, I woke up and heard the TV sounds in the living room is so loud and you were not beside me, I knew you must have the TV to accompany you to sleep. I went out, looked at you, you slept well at the couch, I think twice and stunned for a while, if I shall call you to go into the room to sleep, I told myself, better don't coz just now experienced once already, kena scold and get the very heart pained feeling. So, I was so sad and don't like to see you sleeping alone in the living hall, I switched off the TV, lights off and go back to the bedroom to sleep. Tried my very best to sleep again, but can't, until you walked into the room at about 6am.
Second night, Wednesday night, was real sad, even for such a beautiful place for romantic dinner, I ate the dinner so hard and difficult, and can't sleep. Woke up again at 3.30am till morning. Was really thinking on what was happening between us. I was so curious and so upset, I love you so much, I love you more than before I married you, I asked myself, I tried my very best to perform the wife's duty, I tried my best to be a good wife, but then how come our relationship is getting worst and worst ????? A lot of questions in my mind ................ why, why and why ?????
You started come home late, it's ok, I waited you. You started become speechless................... we eat breakfast together on the same table by sitting next to each other so close, but yet our feeling was so far away. No one talking, it's a speechless morning & breakfast. You started have no topics to talk to me, you stared to stare at my at a very weird face expression, you started to keep quiet and don't know what to talk to me. Why, dear ? Can't we open up and discuss it. By hiding it, the balls will row bigger and bigger, I started feeling insecure about our relationship already, I started become so worried and so anxiety about our relationship. We got to do something about it before it is too late, dear ! Come on, we have been married only for 2 months .................................... That morning, I went office with two big panda bengkak eyes after long time crying .........................
I know, it's not only me suffering from the situation, you too, I can see from your face that you are not happy too, you are very unhappy, you too feeling not comfortable with me. Come on, let's work this out hand in hand, we still have a long journey to walk through together, we still have many many years to live together, please, dear, let's do something about it, do let me know what can we both do to enhance the situation and make both us back to those days us - the happy us !!!
For my side, from my very limited knowledge and experience, I really have no idea on how to handle this situation. The only thing that I have done for us is to pay and registered for a workshop for both us to attend, the one that I have mentioned to you earlier, the Thean Hou Temple call that you received this morning. I know completely that you hate this kind of workshop or talk, to you, it's a waste of time coz you know all the theory part. But then, dear, give me suggestion, do share with me what can we do to improve our relationship. I can only think of if we can't solve our problem, we listen to others and see how they solved theiw problems and we learn from there. What say you ?
Please, I beg you, please do not give up, please do not become speechless, please do not not to talk to me, please don't leave me sleep alone in the room, the feeling is too terrible, like get dump by someone, no one want me anymore, so pittyful and lost feeling. Really................... dear, give me a signal that you have read this and do agreed to work this out hand in hand for both benefits, ok ??????
Hope to hear from you by telling me that " Yes, lao poh, let's find out together how can we solve the problem, let's work hand in hand tightly to overcome this challenge. " I wait for you ........................
Not sure if you noticed, it has been two nights and three mornings that I didn't say " Good night, lao kong " and " Good Morning, Lao Poh " to each other already......................... I hope we can both sleep with a happy heart tonight............................
Endless Love For You from Your Lao Poh
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Choice Of Words In Communication
Recently, I realised thoroughly on the importance of " Choice Of Words " in life or in communication. My current Manager, is a very knowledgeable and caring person, he always shared with us the importance of " Choice Of Word " in daily life, he emphasized it to us on and off, he practised it in his daily life, he even correct our " Choice of Words " many times.................. He acts like a Grammarian in my life, on my poor English sentence construction and vocabulary. I must thank him for being so willing to share and to correct me on my mistakes. I appreciated it very much.
From his succeed in his communication with people, his relationship with others ( ex-colleagues, people around him, anybody even cleaner or passer by like a waiter in the restaurant, he also practise his good PR and " Choice Of Word " everyday, every minutes in his daily life ). I actually learnt a lot from him and I take him as my role model in life. I exampled him as my mentor, for my problem, my language barrier, my life phylosophy and etc. Of course, he is not perfect, he also has his shortage but still, overall, he is a nice old man to be friend.
The best part of him is he likes to compliment people, he loves to praise people, no matter when, where and doing what. For example, he will praise me when he walked into office " Hey, you look very fresh this morning ! Morning fresh ! " with a smile, that's made my day ! Not because that I crave for his compliment, just that by having such statement, he makes someone feel good and really fresh.
He always start his conversation with good words / praise or compliments first. Like everytime before he starts his conversation, he will say something like this : " Your centre looks pretty neat, you must have spent a lot of time in keeping it. " or " Mr Khung, from your outlook, I believe you must be a very experienced and professional trainer who really care of self image as your first impression to me was really impressive ! ". Things like this, really make people feel fantastic !!!
He is good at this skill. I really learnt a lot from him secretly and after working with him for sometime, I noticed that I started care and mind my language already. I will notice sometime after I said something, I found that I could construct my sentence in a better phrase and make the people who is listening to me to feel better, eventhough for a comment or recommendation to others, we could also tell it in a very sweet way. Aren't we learn this from Toastmasters too ??? Yes, we learnt how to give constructive feedback to members, we learn to evaluate people in a nice way, not white washing, but a real sincere feedback without hiding any facts, the real message have been conveyed and at the same time, didn't hurt people.
I try to sharpen my " Choice of Word " in my daily communication too in order not to hurt the people around me, especially my hubby !!! This morning, I got hurt again by his sharp words................... " My mum only has one box, you don't even can tolerant with this ? " What is this .............. I took so much trouble and effort, sweat, pain to clean up the Store Room, at the end, I got only this comment from my loved one. How hurt it is ???? Aren't we both also Toastmasters, aren't we practise what we learn in Toastmasters in life, especially the evaluation style in Toastmasters. Still remember the " G.L.O.V.E " concept that you share with me ? Or the burger concept apply in Toastmasters ?
Dear, shall we start to practise this in our daily life too ? This is not about ruling, it's more towards a better relationship. I care of you so much, very much, that's why I care of everything you do for me, every words you say, it's not I want to give you pressure like has no even freedom to talk and have to be careful when talk to me, just that do care about my feeling, I felt hurt easily, this is because I care so much.
Many times, in the morning, I was angry with you quietly, but everytime, when I walked into our bedroom, I saw you have helped to make the bed neatly, all my anger went off immediately. The same happened this morning. Everytime I looked at the bed, I told myself, what to angry anymore ? I have such a good and caring husband, who there to help to make bed in the morning, who helped me to cut vegetable, who helps to pick up my hairs drop in the toilet, who cooked me ' yong sam sou ' when I am sick, who cared of me so much, who takes the trouble to purposely come down to the car park to fetch me, who bought my favourite fruit - Dragon Fruit for me as a surprise gift, who massage me after I finished all the house work, who washes dishes after dinner, who made cereal for me in the morning, who eats vegetables that he doesn't like, who forcely finished whatever I have cooked just to make me happy and to appreciate my effort to him, who cares so much of me, what more to complaint ? What more to comment ? I am ' xin fu ' enough to have such a husband with me for my rest of life ..............................really, dear, many times, I was so happy when I walked into our bedroom, everytime I stepped into the bathroom, really, all these small action or effort in life do counts, it counts, I feel so sweet many times because of all these small small contributions that you have done for me, it really affects, I care of all these, it makes a difference in our life, it do makes me love you more and more and more ..............................
From his succeed in his communication with people, his relationship with others ( ex-colleagues, people around him, anybody even cleaner or passer by like a waiter in the restaurant, he also practise his good PR and " Choice Of Word " everyday, every minutes in his daily life ). I actually learnt a lot from him and I take him as my role model in life. I exampled him as my mentor, for my problem, my language barrier, my life phylosophy and etc. Of course, he is not perfect, he also has his shortage but still, overall, he is a nice old man to be friend.
The best part of him is he likes to compliment people, he loves to praise people, no matter when, where and doing what. For example, he will praise me when he walked into office " Hey, you look very fresh this morning ! Morning fresh ! " with a smile, that's made my day ! Not because that I crave for his compliment, just that by having such statement, he makes someone feel good and really fresh.
He always start his conversation with good words / praise or compliments first. Like everytime before he starts his conversation, he will say something like this : " Your centre looks pretty neat, you must have spent a lot of time in keeping it. " or " Mr Khung, from your outlook, I believe you must be a very experienced and professional trainer who really care of self image as your first impression to me was really impressive ! ". Things like this, really make people feel fantastic !!!
He is good at this skill. I really learnt a lot from him secretly and after working with him for sometime, I noticed that I started care and mind my language already. I will notice sometime after I said something, I found that I could construct my sentence in a better phrase and make the people who is listening to me to feel better, eventhough for a comment or recommendation to others, we could also tell it in a very sweet way. Aren't we learn this from Toastmasters too ??? Yes, we learnt how to give constructive feedback to members, we learn to evaluate people in a nice way, not white washing, but a real sincere feedback without hiding any facts, the real message have been conveyed and at the same time, didn't hurt people.
I try to sharpen my " Choice of Word " in my daily communication too in order not to hurt the people around me, especially my hubby !!! This morning, I got hurt again by his sharp words................... " My mum only has one box, you don't even can tolerant with this ? " What is this .............. I took so much trouble and effort, sweat, pain to clean up the Store Room, at the end, I got only this comment from my loved one. How hurt it is ???? Aren't we both also Toastmasters, aren't we practise what we learn in Toastmasters in life, especially the evaluation style in Toastmasters. Still remember the " G.L.O.V.E " concept that you share with me ? Or the burger concept apply in Toastmasters ?
Dear, shall we start to practise this in our daily life too ? This is not about ruling, it's more towards a better relationship. I care of you so much, very much, that's why I care of everything you do for me, every words you say, it's not I want to give you pressure like has no even freedom to talk and have to be careful when talk to me, just that do care about my feeling, I felt hurt easily, this is because I care so much.
Many times, in the morning, I was angry with you quietly, but everytime, when I walked into our bedroom, I saw you have helped to make the bed neatly, all my anger went off immediately. The same happened this morning. Everytime I looked at the bed, I told myself, what to angry anymore ? I have such a good and caring husband, who there to help to make bed in the morning, who helped me to cut vegetable, who helps to pick up my hairs drop in the toilet, who cooked me ' yong sam sou ' when I am sick, who cared of me so much, who takes the trouble to purposely come down to the car park to fetch me, who bought my favourite fruit - Dragon Fruit for me as a surprise gift, who massage me after I finished all the house work, who washes dishes after dinner, who made cereal for me in the morning, who eats vegetables that he doesn't like, who forcely finished whatever I have cooked just to make me happy and to appreciate my effort to him, who cares so much of me, what more to complaint ? What more to comment ? I am ' xin fu ' enough to have such a husband with me for my rest of life ..............................really, dear, many times, I was so happy when I walked into our bedroom, everytime I stepped into the bathroom, really, all these small action or effort in life do counts, it counts, I feel so sweet many times because of all these small small contributions that you have done for me, it really affects, I care of all these, it makes a difference in our life, it do makes me love you more and more and more ..............................
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